Sheila and Karl Stephen's Wedding

 Sheila and Macmac -expectation is a belief that something will happen. But when reality does not match up to what you had hoped would happen, disappointment comes in.

Few years ago, when you were both in High School, Sheila you were so talented and intelligent yet you were underrated. In terms of popularity, you did not stand as a crowd favourite. Though you had good leadership skills, you were never elected as the head of the council in your senior years. Though all these caused you somehow your disappointment, you still managed to find another place to showcase your talents and skills; that place is the church and you grew up there as a better person.

Macmac, you enjoyed the prime of your life in the school. Almost all popular girls there desired to have you. Some boys at your age even envied you as they kept asking themselves on how to be like you. But when you decided to serve the church, you found its doors closed. You were disappointed then. Yet you chose to move on.

Sheila, when you were in college, you made a lot of sacrifices just to finish your studies. There were many promises made to you by people you trusted yet none became true. The difficulties you encountered on your first chosen course seemed to drag you down. All these caused you your disappointment; but then again, you found another course to take and you excelled going straight to your better state, a better career.

Macmac, when you were in college, you enjoyed not only the life you had but also the love of your life. You finished your studies without difficulty and everything seemed to go on smoothly with you. You were very sure of yourself in what you were doing. However, there were times you were a little bit disappointed as you waited for your employment as a seafarer. And when the long wait was over, you were happy with your career though sometime later had been disappointed in one thing which only you who should know it. While onboard, you chose to move on.

Sheila and Macmac, I let you recall all these because I want you to know that you have successfully dealt with your disappointments in the past. Both of you showed resilience. You could adjust easily to a distressing event. If you do not know how to handle disappointments, you will only become bitter; and bitterness ruins relationships. If you have lived with bitterness, this wedding would never take place. A person who is bitter, cannot truly love and even if he/she loves, he/she shall fail to be happy with his/her beloved because a bitter person is not happy at all. He/she is uncomfortable with happiness and cannot be happy for the other.

Sheila and Macmac, many married couples become bitter and they stop hoping to find happiness in their relationship. They wonder how they started out okay, but eventually something happened to trip them up. When it happens that you Macmac and Sheila are disappointed with each other, remember these words of Jesus -Remain in my love (John 15:10). This means that if you cannot give the love you used to give to your beloved, then give him/her the love that Jesus always gives you. As a newly wedded couple, you have to deal with your disappointments conjugally as husband and wife. As a Catholic couple, always remain in Jesus through your prayers and sacrifices. Pray every day.

If you do not remain in Jesus, if you fail to make prayer your priority as a couple, then you might one day end up entertain in your hearts and thoughts these words found in the case of Padilla-Rumbaua v. Rumbaua, G.R. No. 166738, quoting Dr. Tayag, “People love in order to be secure that one will share his/her life with another and that he/she will not die alone. Individuals who are in love had the power to let love grow or let love die – it is a choice one had to face when love is not the love, he/she expected.” This case reflects how the world values marital sanctity. The world reduces the sanctity of marriage into a mere option either to give up when disappointed or to go on when everything comes according to expectation. This is not what the Lord Jesus has taught us. What Jesus has taught us through an example of His life is for us to love even when it is hard. Jesus who was betrayed and died a brutal death on the cross was never disappointed in His apostles. Instead, He even showed them His love.  

Sheila and Macmac, learn how Jesus loves so that you can together overcome marital disappointments. Individually, you know how to handle your own disappointments in the past. But this time, everything becomes different. You are now husband and wife. You do not work alone but together as a couple. Look at how you raise your son Caleb. Individually, you can fulfill your role as parent. But Caleb does not need only one of you but both of you as he grows up.

Sheila and Macmac, I am saying all these to prepare you to the reality of married life nowadays. We hear of stories of toxic households. Toxicity in a family relations happens when one or all members in the household is/are bitter. One becomes bitter when he/she does know how to manage life’s disappointments. When it comes to handle marital disappointments, the two of you must remain in the love of Jesus. I advise you to always pray. Amen.