Bryan and Lorena's Wedding 10-28-2020

Lorena and Bryan, almost everybody knows that in signing up for Facebook, one may add a relationship status. Status is derived from the latin word sto, stare, steti, statum which means to stand or make or be firm. In applying the word status to a relationship, one has to make a stand. He/she can stand up for his/her beloved and get married or choose to remain single. Surprisingly, one of the many choices offered on the dropdown menu is “It’s complicated.” But Lorena and Bryan, it seems it is a misplaced term in the category of one’s relationship status. Why? It is because the term “It’s complicated” can be true to any kind of relationship status, whether one is single or engaged, whether he is married or is separated.

 

Lorena and Bryan, being in a relationship is complicated in itself. In other words, all relationships are not easy to deal with no matter how one may wish for a love that is simple, so natural, and uncomplicated. Most probably, you have this kind of experience in your teacher-pupil relationships that you need to exert a lot of effort to be understood and to understand, to know when to speak and when to listen, to focus on teaching children rather than being distracted by their childish behavior. This kind of experience will help you realize that even two persons in a partnership experience varying degrees of difficulty in their relationships. After they deal with whatever complication there is in a relationship, the amount of effort to stay in a relationship becomes somehow reduced. We may say there is less effort required to stay in such a relationship as they feel free to be who they are and yet are loved. They no longer feel they have to prove their worth because they feel more secure to live for love. Can you Lorena and Bryan relate to what I am saying? It is not a surprise for me that you will enter into this marriage today. Here’s the catch! Both of you no longer feel you have to prove your worth because you feel more secure to live together for love. You do not need to pretend anymore or to fake how you stand before each other. You have been together for so long and have been honest and true to each other for being who you are; you know each other yet you love each other.

 

Bryan and Lorena, you were classmates in some subjects when you took your education degree. You also worked together in theatre arts. In addition, you both joined the Junior Chamber International Organization and were involved in some Non-Governmental Organization’s activities and outreach programs. You became close friends while you were promoting your advocacy as a youth. You were there for each other especially during the moment when you were wallowing in the depths of your pain caused by people you once trusted. You were there for each other when no one else was. You were there for each other in mountaineering and trekking until you learned that the reason for being there for each other is love. Bryan and Lorena, because of love, you are now in a stable relationship. It’s not complicated. It is called marriage.

 

Let me end my homily by inviting you Bryan and Lorena to reflect on the words of Jesus in John 15: 13-17. In verse 15, Jesus said, “I no longer call you slaves, because a slave does not know what his master is doing.” Bryan and Lorena, you are no longer a slave of your past. You know what God has done for you. God does not give you the love that you preferred but the love He has prepared for both of you. Jesus calls you friends and you know how he provides you a love that heals and not the love that hurts. In verse 16, He continued saying, “It was not you chose me, but I who chose you.” Bryan and Lorena, remember you do not choose this love; it is God who chooses you for this kind of love. All you can do is to do what Jesus commands you who appointed you to go and bear fruit. In verse 17, the command of Jesus is always in all ways to love one another. Many people have stopped loving because they are afraid to get hurt again. But it is only in loving despite the possibility of being hurt again that you can be obedient to Christ Jesus. Finally, take a look at verse 13 when Jesus said, “No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” Bryan and Lorena, when there will be moments in your married life that you will become confused or in doubt, do not forget you have your closest friend, you have each other. Your friendship is a solid foundation for your relationship as husband and wife. As a friend, you are emotionally connected to each other. Your emotional connection is more valuable than your physical attraction or satisfaction to make your marriage work.  As friends who turned into lovers, surely, you can lay down your life for each other. May you be happy then in living together as husband and wife.  Amen.

30th

 

Ang taong nagmamahal ay tunay ngang nagmamahal kung nakikilala niya ang Diyos sa kanyang buhay. Ayon sa 1 Juan 4:7-8, ang sino mang umiibig ay nakakilala sa Diyos sapagkat ang pag-ibig ay mula sa Diyos. Ang hindi umiibig ay hindi nakakilala sa Diyos dahil ang Diyos ay pag-ibig. Samakatuwid, ang lalake na nagsasabing mahal niya ang isang babae ngunit di naman niya kinikilala ang Diyos ay masasabing nagmamahal nga siya, ngunit iyon ay isang uri ng pagmamahal na kayang maibigay sa isang alagang hayop o di kaya sa isang bagay o pagkain. Ang sabi nga sa isang patalastas, “I love you, Jolibee.” Hindi ang ganitong uri ng pagmamahal ang kaibig-ibig. Ang pagmamahal na mula sa Diyos at pagmamahal sa Diyos ang siyang karapat-dapat na mayroon ang bawat isa. Kahit pa na ikinasal ang isang lalake at isang babae na nagmamahalan kung di naman mahal ng isa sa kanila ang Diyos ay di magtatagal. At kung tatagal man eh malamang hindi dahil sa kanilang pag-iibigan. Sapagkat paano ang isang tao iibig ng tunay kung wala ang Diyos sa kanyang buhay? Paano ba maiibigay ang isang wala?

 

Ang tunay na pag-ibig ay hindi natatapos sa pagmamahal sa Diyos. Itong pagmamahal ay patuloy na dumadaloy patungo sa pagmamahal sa kapwa gaya ng pagmamahal sa sarili (Mateo 22:34-40). Kung uunawain ito, ang pagmamahal sa iba ay hindi mula sa Diyos kung di rin lang mahal ng isang tao ang kanyang sarili. Ang mga taong sinasaktan ang sarili at sinasayang ang buhay dahil sa pagmamahal ay hindi masasabing tunay ngang nagmamahal. Paano nila mamahalin ang iba kung sila nga ay di marunong magbigay halaga sa kanilang sarili? Paano nila maibibigay ang isang pag-ibig na wala naman sa kanila? Ganun pa man, hindi rin matatawag na tunay na pagmamahal ang pagiging narsismo (labis na pagmamahal sa sarili). Di nga rin tama ang pinapahiwatig ng isang awitin na “Greatest Love of All” na ang tinutumbok ay pagmamahal sa sarili. Ang taong kulang sa pagmamahal sa sarili at taong labis ang pagmamahal sa sarili ay hindi nakakaunawa kung ano ang pag-ibig na galing sa Diyos. Ang pag-ibig ng Diyos ay sapat sa bawat isa kayat masasabing walang labis at walang kulang dapat sa bawat isa. Kung kayat pagdating sa pagmamahal sa kapwa at sa sarili, ang pag-ibig ay pantay; hindi ito kulang o higit pa. Sa gayon, mas mauunawaan natin bakit sinabi ni Hesus na ang pagmamahal sa Diyos at sa kapwa gaya ng pagmamahal sa sarili ang pinakamahalagang utos ng Diyos.

Richard and Ma. Famela's Marriage

 

Richard and Ma. Famela, you were classmates in high school, co-workers in Jollibee (Aklan), and then lovers in a committed relationship and finally, today you shall be called husband and wife before God and before the Christian community.

At this moment, let me lead you to your experience way back when you Famela asked Richard how he was via chat messages in year 2016. After that, it was your turn Richard to ask Famela if she knew a job opening or hiring in Aklan. This series of exchange of questions led you Richard to ask Famela if you could court her and be her lover in year 2017 of January. Though hesitant, Famela gave you the permission to prove your worth Richard. Just like when the both of you apply for a job, there is a pre-employment requirement or condition, Famela’s only condition and requirement is for you Richard to give respect to her parents because she loves them so much. Before Famela accepted you to be her boyfriend, she asked permission from her parents first. When she accepted you to be her boyfriend, she chose her parents’ wedding anniversary date to be your significant day. This shows how Famela loves her parents and the only way for you Richard to win her heart is to show that you can love her parents the way she loves them. Richard and Famela, hopefully even if you are now married, you continue to pay respect to your parents. Colossians 3:20 says, “Children, obey your parents in everything, for this is pleasing to the Lord.”

Richard and Famela, you have a beautiful story of love which leads you here in this church today. But let me remind you that being married is not the ending of any love story. All love stories should end in loving until death. John 15: 13 states, there is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for the other. This means Richard and Famela, there is no such thing as retrenchment in married life. Retrenchment happens in any company or business institution like Jollibee, where you were working at, which faces major or serious losses nowadays. Retrenchment is one way of terminating an employment. It ends the employer-employee relationship. In most broken/failing marriages, the major or serious loss being experienced is the loss of love between the husband and wife. They said they do not love each other anymore and they have to terminate their marital relationship for this reason. They put an end to their husband-wife relationship. Richard and Famela, this is not acceptable for us who are called practicing Catholics. If there is something that both of you Richard and Famela need to lose, it should not be love. Why? Love is your reason why you marry and marriage is your reason to find love. Whenever you look for love, just look at your marriage.

It is a fact that there are marriages which end in annulment or divorce because they have lost their love; but for practicing Catholics, love will never be lost because it is God who binds couples together in love. Practicing Catholics know that Jesus said this, “As the Father loves me, so I also love you. Remain in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will remain in my love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete” (John 15:9-17). These words of Jesus become our basis that there is love that cannot be lost and which always makes one’s joy complete. This kind of love can be found in God and you can find it Richard and Famela in your heart if you remain in God’s love.

To end, remember Famela that before you enter into a committed relationship with Richard, you used to pray to God to give you the man of your dream. You see how powerful prayer is when Richard came into your life and now is married to you, the man of your dream. Hopefully, Famela together with Richard, you pray together. By praying together, you remain in God’s love. By praying for each other, you will remain in love to each other. Pray that God will bind you together in love till the end of days. Amen.