Lorena and Bryan, almost everybody knows that in signing up for Facebook, one may add a relationship status. Status is derived from the latin word sto, stare, steti, statum which means to stand or make or be firm. In applying the word status to a relationship, one has to make a stand. He/she can stand up for his/her beloved and get married or choose to remain single. Surprisingly, one of the many choices offered on the dropdown menu is “It’s complicated.” But Lorena and Bryan, it seems it is a misplaced term in the category of one’s relationship status. Why? It is because the term “It’s complicated” can be true to any kind of relationship status, whether one is single or engaged, whether he is married or is separated.
Lorena and Bryan, being in
a relationship is complicated in itself. In other words, all relationships are
not easy to deal with no matter how one may wish for a love that is simple, so
natural, and uncomplicated. Most probably, you have this kind of experience in
your teacher-pupil relationships that you need to exert a lot of effort to be
understood and to understand, to know when to speak and when to listen, to
focus on teaching children rather than being distracted by their childish
behavior. This kind of experience will help you realize that even two persons
in a partnership experience varying degrees of difficulty in their
relationships. After they deal with whatever complication there is in a
relationship, the amount of effort to stay in a relationship becomes somehow
reduced. We may say there is less effort required to stay in such a
relationship as they feel free to be who they are and yet are loved. They no
longer feel they have to prove their worth because they feel more secure to
live for love. Can you Lorena and Bryan relate to what I am saying? It is not a
surprise for me that you will enter into this marriage today. Here’s the catch!
Both of you no longer feel you have to prove your worth because you feel more
secure to live together for love. You do not need to pretend anymore or to fake
how you stand before each other. You have been together for so long and have
been honest and true to each other for being who you are; you know each other
yet you love each other.
Bryan and Lorena, you were
classmates in some subjects when you took your education degree. You also
worked together in theatre arts. In addition, you both joined the Junior
Chamber International Organization and were involved in some Non-Governmental
Organization’s activities and outreach programs. You became close friends while
you were promoting your advocacy as a youth. You were there for each other
especially during the moment when you were wallowing in the depths of your pain
caused by people you once trusted. You were there for each other when no one else was. You
were there for each other in mountaineering and trekking until you learned that
the reason for being there for each other is love. Bryan and Lorena, because of
love, you are now in a stable relationship. It’s not complicated. It is called
marriage.
Let me end my homily by
inviting you Bryan and Lorena to reflect on the words of Jesus in John 15:
13-17. In verse 15, Jesus said, “I no longer call you slaves, because a slave
does not know what his master is doing.” Bryan and Lorena, you are no longer a
slave of your past. You know what God has done for you. God does not give you
the love that you preferred but the love He has prepared for both of you. Jesus
calls you friends and you know how he provides you a love that heals and not
the love that hurts. In verse 16, He continued saying, “It was not you chose
me, but I who chose you.” Bryan and Lorena, remember you do not choose this
love; it is God who chooses you for this kind of love. All you can do is to do
what Jesus commands you who appointed you to go and bear fruit. In verse 17,
the command of Jesus is always in all ways to love one another. Many people
have stopped loving because they are afraid to get hurt again. But it is only
in loving despite the possibility of being hurt again that you can be obedient
to Christ Jesus. Finally, take a look at verse 13 when Jesus said, “No one has
greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” Bryan and
Lorena, when there will be moments in your married life that you will become
confused or in doubt, do not forget you have your closest friend, you have each other. Your friendship is a solid
foundation for your relationship as husband and wife. As a friend, you are emotionally connected to each other. Your emotional connection is more valuable than your physical attraction or satisfaction to make your marriage work. As friends who turned into lovers, surely, you can lay down your life for
each other. May you be happy then in living together as husband and wife. Amen.
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